things i've learned

My little girl is almost 1 year old. That's 12 whole months of growing and learning by her, obviously, but also by the husband & me as first-time parents. As such, here are 12 things I've learned about parenting a baby during this past year--not that I'm an expert or anything because I'm definitely not. And being that every child is different, your own mileage in regards to this list may vary. So take it all with a grain of salt :)

1. In the newborn days, no matter how long you wait after the baby poops to make sure she's done before changing her diaper, she will poop again immediately after you change her into a clean diaper. Without fail.
2. Everyone knows how important it is to make sure a baby eats enough. What no one stressed (at least to us), though, is how important it is for a baby to get enough sleep and that you often have to actively help a small baby get to sleep since she does not really know how, at least in the first few months. The first 2 weeks gave us a false sense of how the whole sleeping thing would go because, apparently, newborns tend to fall asleep anywhere and everywhere on their own. Unless you have a very easygoing baby (which we did not), this will not always be true... and you will at some point be faced with a super cranky baby (who is likely just overtired) and have no idea why. I used to think that if a baby is tired, she just falls asleep. Um, not always. (And if you are one of the parents who has always had an easygoing baby who never fights sleep and always falls asleep for naps and nighttime without the need for rocking, swaying, or any help from you at all, then... I hate you. And so does every other parent of a champion sleep-fighting baby.)
3. Though some people have no problems with it at all, breastfeeding can be really, really difficult, especially at the beginning. I had initially thought that as long as we got the latch correct, it would be smooth sailing from there. Nope, at least not for us. There are a bunch of other things that can make it difficult (i.e. oversupply, plugged ducts / mastitis, nursing strikes, etc.), not to mention it left me completely and utterly exhausted and unable to get more than 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep for awhile. It took a lot of seeking advice and determination to stick with it, but we managed to do so. And I'm really happy that we did. (That was our choice, though, and I totally respect those who choose to formula-feed. I was a formula-fed baby! And I figure that people do whatever works best for them and their own situation.)
4. Find a reliable soothing item that works for your baby, and make sure you bring it with you whenever you go out. For most people, this is a pacifier. For us, it is an Ergobaby Carrier.
5. Every baby is different and every family has different circumstances, so even if it's not the way you would do it, learn not to pass judgement or a critical eye on how another parent does things. I always try to assume that every parent does what works best for them and their family.
6. I used to work at a fast-paced, high-pressure corporate job for 50+ hours a week with a ridiculous commute... yet, to my surprise, I've learned that being a SAHM is by far the most difficult job I've ever had.
7. You learn to appreciate little things you never thought twice about before... like going to the bathroom without being interrupted, and eating a meal with your spouse at the same time.
8. It will seem like you have no time to yourself (because you probably don't), but make time. It may be more difficult if you are a military family and do not live close to any family or friends that you trust, but many people do live near trusted family/friends; get their help for a few hours every once in awhile. It is important for you to remember who you are beyond a parent so as to retain your sanity.
9. There will be good days where you feel like a rockstar parent, and there will be bad days where you feel completely lost. It's all normal. Just do your best.
10. Even if you used to be an expert traveler, only bringing carry-ons and zipping through security at airports, traveling with a baby is a completely different ball game. There's a reason there's often a separate security line for families with small children.
11. Just when you get into a nice rhythm and think you're getting the hang of this whole parenting thing, the baby will hit a developmental milestone and change everything up on you. And you'll have to figure everything out all over again.
12. Though parenting can be really difficult, that adorable little baby somehow has a way of making your heart explode with so much love that it makes it all worthwhile. I can't tell you how many times I've simply looked at my daughter and felt like my heart was literally about to burst with love for her that it made me want to hug and kiss her all day long. As a friend once said to me, "My kid makes me want to cry like every day... but in a good way." :)

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Video clip on the topic of parenthood from the movie, The Backup Plan.

Some exaggeration, but hilarious nonetheless.

swagger wagon and dear sophie

The husband and I are both of the camp that we'll never buy a minivan (though we do understand how awesome they are from a practicality standpoint), but the following video is still one of my current favorites to watch. Absolutely hysterical.

And the following is another one of my faves. It's got more of a sentimental tone to it, yet it's also modern and clever. Without fail, it makes my eyes all watery every time I watch it. Every time.

fast forward to now

Before I became a mother, I never really understood why parents would talk like they had no time for anything. I mean, sure, I understood that kids are demanding and will obviously leave you with less free time than you once had, but I didn't really understand. Those parents had to be exaggerating just a bit. I also thought that the really hard work didn't come until the child was older, and that the beginning wouldn't be too difficult since babies can't really do much of anything, right? As long as we made sure the baby was always fed, burped, and changed when need be, it should be somewhat smooth sailing, right?

Ha. I was in for a rude awakening.

Apparently, I underestimated the incredible power of one of the few things that babies can do: CRY.

When I was pregnant, I had read the baby books, watched the DVD's, read everything I could online, took the classes at the hospital, and talked to friends who had kids, but none of it adequately prepared me for Isabelle. Evidently, newborns don't just cry when they're hungry or need a diaper change. Oftentimes, they'll cry for what seems to us like no reason at all. And then they'll cry some more. And some more.

Actually, the first week or two were pretty easy because she slept a lot of the time (newborns sleep a LOT). We were like, "Wow, this isn't too hard!" And then it all changed. And that "Happiest Baby on the Block" stuff that so many people swear by didn't really work for us. The swaddling helped a little, but other than that... not so much. Even putting her in her car seat and taking a drive had the opposite effect it does on most babies; while it usually puts most babies right to sleep, Isabelle would scream her head off as soon as she was put into a car (and this aversion to the car lasted for about 5-6 months. Going anywhere in a car was a super stress-filled event during this time.). She also wouldn't take a pacifier, but she would nurse and/or suck on one of our fingers if we offered it to her. She wouldn't stay in a swing for very long, but she'd stay somewhat content in our arms so long as we were constantly rocking/swaying AND standing up. It was as if she knew better than to accept any fake substitutes and demanded no less than the real thing... and she never hesitated to be very vocal about it (and did I mention that when she'd cry, she'd give it 110%? Boy could she be LOUD!). She didn't fit the definition of colicky, but she sure was very demanding (especially compared to other babies I would see who would, to my amazement, just sit/lay there staring into space. Isabelle was definitely not an easygoing baby like that. And according to my mom, I was just like her when I was a baby. Um... hi karma!)! Ironically, the first few months that I had previously thought would be the easiest were actually the most difficult. In hindsight, I think it was due to a combination of some reflux (which her pediatrician prescribed her some baby Zantac for) and her personality/temperament (she is a very perceptive, strong-willed, spirited, feisty little girl). And on top of all this, nursing was extra difficult because I had major oversupply issues (which you think would be a good problem to have considering all of the mothers who face undersupply issues... but to make a long story short, oversupply is probably just as frustrating and hard), but we stuck with it and are almost at our goal of nursing for at least 1 year.

Thankfully, being a first-time mom who is completely and utterly in love with her child gave me superhuman levels of patience, determination, and somehow surviving on less sleep than I ever thought possible to get me through those first few tough months. Or maybe I just like to think that's how it was--that I had superpowers or something. In reality, though, I probably got through it simply because I didn't really have a choice. LOL

Fast forward to now. Isabelle is almost 12 months, and she's still just as perceptive, strong-willed, spirited, and feisty as always, but she's also a much happier baby who frequently smiles and laughs with gusto. I think she just didn't like being a newborn. When she was a newborn, I'd often feel as if she was a toddler who was frustrated to be stuck in a newborn's body. It sounds funny, but that's really how the situation seemed to me sometimes. The older she got and the more mobile she got, the happier she got. She's definitely a handful, but she makes me smile every day. And she makes my heart melt into a puddle of mush every day. And she makes me proud every day.